sorrow

What do you tell your child when they are crying to you because they don't have a brother or sister; when you know they do really, it's just that they aren't with us.

How do you make them feel complete enough?

Our son would be 8 now; he was born sleeping at 38 weeks in 2003. We also suffered a miscarriage after little pickle was born, so a younger sibling was possible for her. she knows about her older brother as he is such a part of the family, but not about the younger one.

Her school friends all have a sibling or 2, and the one friend we have who is also an only child, has half siblings who she sees. They told her today that she would never be an aunt, and this has upset her deeply, even at 7 years of age. I tried to explain that she could be an aunt, as I am, to close friends children, but of course that doesnt really feel the same to her yet.

We sat on the stairs and had a cuddle and a cry about it, and a discussion about heaven (in a non religious kind of way) and who else is up there looking after him. I hope that I have provided the comfort that she needs, but I know this isnt an issue that is going to disappear, there will be other occasions where our loss will make her miss out.

As she so wisely says, life isnt fair is it mum? No darling, it really really isnt.

And for me; there are 2 massive holes in my heart and soul which will wound me forever, but they also remind me to cherish and nurture each and every moment with the amazing girl i do have; who is the very best i could ever have wished for.  xx